There's Wrong, and then there's WRONG!

Fresh out of college, I worked with a guy who was a little, "different". He looked like an overgrown, not cute version of Dilbert. His name was Elliott and he said things like, "I like your shirt, and when I say I like your shirt, I mean I like your boobs in that shirt." Or else he one time told a girl she had a nice ass. When she took offense, he proclaimed, "you can't even pay a girl a compliment these days".

I didn't know Elliott was that odd when I first started the job and having been raised right, I tried to be polite and inclusive to everyone I worked with. If I was running for coffee, grabbing a sandwich - whatever...I asked if anyone needed anything - including Elliott.

My fellow co-workers said it was a bad idea to be so nice to him as I would become the target of his affection. Something I didn't want. I routinely ignored my friends, besides, Debbie, my co-worker at the time, was the current object of his affection. It didn't matter that she was married, had 3 kids, was well liked, and funny (all things he wasn't) - Elliott dug her. There was an incident that poor Debbie endured (and we all bore witness to) that made me quickly, stop being friendly toward Elliott.

Every day that we got closer to Christmas, Debbie's anxiety increased as to what Elliott would give her as a gift this year. Debbie had decided that no matter what, she wasn't going to accept a gift from him this year. No way, no how. Of course, the day of the holiday luncheon, Elliott arrives with a small, rectangular, neatly wrapped gift for Debbie. As he approached her, the office got very still as we all leaned in to listen and see what lay beneath the festive wrap.

As he handed it over, Debbie explained that she didn't feel comfortable accepting gift from co-workers (of course, she had a small pile of gifts accumulating on the corner of her desk from all of us but Elliott was too focused on Debbie to notice). He was very persuasive, "I want you to have it. So does my Mom". Did I mention Elliott lives with his Mom?!?!

Again, Debbie declines the gift but he is persistent. "It's hardly even a gift . My Mom had an extra one and we thought you might like it." The rest of the staff can't stand it anymore and a chorus of, "just take it" erupted. Debbie grabbed it from his hand and tossed it on the pile, "I will open it at home with my husband and kids". He doesn't take the hint and insists that she open it right there. The office can't help but egg her on to open it.

She unties the ribbon, peels back the tape, unfurls the wrap from the neat package. It is torture as the office holds their breath. We don't want to be disappointed and we weren't! As the paper falls to the desk, the gift is revealed. A can of FDS - Feminine Deodorant Spray.

Now that's just wrong.