Not Quite Up In The Air

My sister-in-law, Janie and I decided to take my nieces, Ella (age 7) and Jess (age 5) to Sea World for a few days. My brother hurt his ankle a couple of weeks prior to our trip and anyone who knows him, knows that my sister-in-law is a saint. Having my brother unable to easily walk to the bathroom let alone play any sort of sport for the foreseeable future takes a special kind of woman to deal with. So, "the girls" head for the warmth of Florida leaving the injured man with the best kind of nurse possible...his mommy.

The trip starts off on a high note. Ella and Jess think the parking garage is like a roller coaster as we go up and up and up the ramps. They giggle as we get into the airport and ride an escalator to the security checkpoint. In fact, Jess declares the escalator to be, "the best ride she's been on" and Ella follows up with, "so far, this is the funnest vacation of my life!". You may be thinking that these kids need to get out more but who can complain when the little things in life make them so happy?!?!

Anyway, I digress.

Janie and I had agreed to only bring carry on bags for this 5 day trip. Great idea, right? Each of us (including the kids) had a small wheeled piece of luggage, a backpack and we brought 2 booster car seats. We were quite the sight trudging through the airport as we lamented about all of the overhead space we would be needing. I mean, has anyone flown recently? Everyone is bringing baggage on board. Who wants to pay an additional $25 per checked bag. Also, you board by zones. The higher the number, the later you board.

I travel a lot for business, mostly solo and with minimal baggage. I always seem to have boarding zone 4 - last to board - but I never really care because I like to sit towards the front of the plane and it is just me and my meager belongings. However, now, with our motley crew heading to Florida and frankly, enough crap to fill every overhead bin, I care about my boarding zone. Our seats were in the back of the plane so I figured we would be boarding first. No such luck. Zone 4.

I'm a bit of a schmoozer - part of that ability to small talk people - and can usually get what I want with a little effort. I tell Janie not to worry, I will get us bumped up in zone or at least preboard due to having the kids. Standing inline, I chat with the people around me and find out they had been bumped from the earlier flight - weather problems. Uh-oh. There are 56 people on the standby list. One college girl is trying to get to Orlando to visit her sick grandmother. I sympathized with her and then asked her the really important question...where did she get her adorable silver sling backs with the crystal butterflies? She didn't seem to mind the distraction and I now have the same shoes in my closet...see what chit chat will get you?!?!?! Shoes people will covet when I finally preview them in my home state! I digress AGAIN! Sorry.

I finally make it to the front of the line. The woman behind the counter looks frazzled, scarf askew, bun unraveling (the airline would not approve, I'm sure) and who could blame her. The people were getting restless and wanted to get on their way to "the happiest place on earth". I give her a smile, ask what all the confusion is, comment that it seems unreasonable that they have her doing everything. She says, "you're telling me" and then relays a little tale about a co-worker who called out sick but really just stayed home to see her boyfriend for an extra day. We nod in unison about how unfair it is. I figure, my preboard, low zone, oodles of overhead space is all but guaranteed, right? Wrong. I make my request and she nearly laughs in my face. Apparently everyone going to Orlando has kids so they don't preboard anyone. Duh.

I return to Janie and the kids defeated but already hatching a new plan.
Plan B.

As they board Zone 1, Zone 2, Zone 3...Janie, the kids and I move to the boarding area. We are going to be those annoying people who rush to the front of the line when our zone is finally called. If we annoy people, so be it. This is cut throat, serious business. Overhead space is no laughing matter. Our zone is called and Janie takes off...she gets right up front...people start to rush the line and Ella, Jess and I get cut off from Janie, all the way to the back of the line. My sister-in-law looks back and tries to wait put people are shoving. I see Janie shrug her shoulders at me and start to go down the jet-way. What?!?!? Oh no she didn't. I've got 2 kids, 3 bags, a booster, a backpack and a little Jess looking up at me saying, "what happened to Mommy. I don't see Mommy." That's when Plan C was hatched - humiliate people into letting us through.

In my loudest, drippy, Auntie C voice, I say, "girls, I'm sure all of these people didn't mean to cut you off from your Mommy. Who would do that on purpose?" Ella looks up at me and answers, "not nice people, that's who would do that". And just like that, people parted and let us through. Some grumbled apologies, some muttered nasty comments but nobody (including me) made eye contact. We make it to the first class aisle area, waiting to get to our seats (and hopefully overhead space) all the way in the back. The girls ask me if there will be room for everything and I reassure them that there will be plenty - though I have my doubts. A woman in first class, sipping wine decides to tell my 5 and 7 year old nieces that there probably won't be space for their stuff because the overhead bins fill up fast. Gee, thanks. I'm about to say something sarcastic to the lady when Jess booms, "tough crowd". Atta girl!

The first class lady reddens and starts to look really interested in the Sky Mall catalog.

Just when I've started to lose faith in frustrated airport people, a nice man and his adult son (heading to Florida on a father/son golf trip) asks Janie if she needs help getting items in the overhead bin. He offers to take a family photo. Despite shoving, crowds, frustration and limited space - good people emerge and even better shoes can be found!