NJesque

I have long considered myself a New Englander at heart - after all, I summered on Cape Cod for 30+ years. Being my cocky, slightly clueless self, I thought I knew everything there was to know about New England (a real New Englander would of course disagree). I knew New England was fabulous so moving there wouldn't feel like I was leaving my home (NJ) behind but rather, like I was moving to my home state, away from my home state (so to say).

I knew where to get the best lobster rolls (both Connecticut style and New England style on a top split hot dog bun), all the best beach locations, where to get a fantastic mudslide (outdoors, overlooking the ocean, while live music played in the dunes above), I knew I could find a drive-thru Dunkin Donuts on every corner (literally), new England was the home of coffee milk (yes, same as chocolate but with coffee syrup - I know, heaven in a bottle), dells lemonade, root beer and orange soda at every fountain machine, amazing Chinese food (not NJ style where fried rice is still white and has peas and carrots tossed in)...all of this, New England had to offer. However, I quickly learned that the great Northeast, lacked some items I considered essential and were in abundance in NJ...

...Bagel Shops - or even just a good bagel. Ask a New Englander where to get a good bagel on Sunday morning after church and you will be pointed towards the nearest Dunkin Donuts (no doubt within sight no matter where you are). Yes, that puffy round pice of bread passes for a bagel here and is only edible if you toast it and slather it with butter.

...Pizza - Dominos is considered the neighborhood pizza joint. (My NJ friends, do I really need to explain how disappointing this is?!!?!)

...Delis - ask where to get a good Italian grinder and you will be directed towards Subway or d'Angelos. Yikes.

...Lunch Meat - you want a quarter pound of cheese? a half pound of this sliced turkey for your weeks linch - they'll tell you to go to the Stop & Shop deli counter. Pure insanity. I don't think my mom EVER visited a grocery store "deli" counter while living in NJ.

...Macaroni Salad - New Englanders float over cooked elbow pasta in mayo and shredded carrots. Eeewwww.

But, by far, the BIGGEST disappointment in New England...NO REAL DINERS. When I moved here for graduate school, one of the first think I asked other students was, "where's the cheap, tons-of-food, open all night, diner. People looked at me like I was nuts and suggested IHOP or Bickfords. So. Not. A. Diner.

For the last 11 years, I have searched far and wide throughout New England for a diner. you know, I want a diner with slightly grumpy service, mildly cool tap water served in gold tinted small glasses, mounds of food, fries with gravy, plastic, greasy menus with pictures of everything from pot roast dinners to grilled cheese with bacon.

People have suggested various haunts but trust me, I've been down a lot of rabbit holes and these did not pan out. Last Saturday night, Abraham (formerly Alexander) and I stumbled upon a diner in MA that we thought looked promising. As we pulled in the lot, I had my doubts but as we opened the half smudged glass/half metal door and were promptly ignored by the hostess as she flirted with the Greek looking bus boy behind the food counter, my hope rose.

As she finally plucked 2 large plastic menus off a stack next to an old cash register and sat us at an old, torn, red booth with a mini juke box - a smile started to creep over my my face and I began to allow myself to believe that this could be it. This could be my NJesque diner. The big question remained though...did they have my ultimate NJ diner feast? A gyro with shaved meat in a large warm pita, slathered in tzatziki sauce served with piping hot fries??? As I scoured the menu (yes, it had pictures), Abraham declare he had found his favorite NJ diner choice - a hot open faced turkey sandwich with gravy, mashed potatoes, veggie of the day, and soup or salad. Happy for him but I was growing frantic looking for my gyro and then, there it was - under "Greek Favorites".

When the food arrived, you could have told me I was back in NJ at the nautilus diner and I would have believed you. The food was the real deal and I couldn't have been happier if Abraham had taken me to a swanky 5 star restaurant.

The Route 9 diner is a hike from our house. It isn't on the way to anywhere. But I will go back and I will go back often. I will b the NJ transplant in the booth, flipping through the juke box, eating a gyro and fries with gravy (drinking a root beer) with a smile plastered on my face. Come say hi.